Just to sum up do I see the traditional relation between writer, text and reader as the first dimension. Thinking circularly about this relationship makes it two dimensional as it allows the flow in both directions and connects the reader and writer beyond the text. The third dimension is when you turn the circle into a sphere by considering all the relations between writers and writers, texts and texts and readers and readers. The fourth dimension is time, which unfortunately is a dominant a force when it comes to blogging as in life in general.

You are surely familiar with the question about what came first, the hen or the egg? Although I do know the answer (which is quite simple once you break of the circularity of the question) I am not going to flaunt it as this is not about knowing the answer, but about understanding the question. Sometimes it seems impossible to know what came first. Sometimes you shouldn’t be able to tell.

Splitting things up like I do thus makes little logical sense. Still does it provide a platform for examining the elements isolated. You can not have text without a writer, just as you cannot have a writer without a text. You cannot have readers without texts, while admittedly you can have texts without readers. The elements are nonetheless closely connected and not really logically separable. Still is it worth looking at each of them isolated as that brings new perspectives into the light and makes it possible to think differently about them.

You do perhaps ask yourself what all this talk about circularity is good for and where it comes from. I always loved circles more than straight lines, I believe that most things are circular in some way and I think that reflecting and communicating accordingly is often more rewarding. Think about how we communicate to get a response, how we receive when we give and how we often return to the same places or ideas when we find ourselves lost. Admittedly, does thinking this way seem to make everything more complicated, but sometimes it is really worth it.

As I get the articles written will I link them to this post and add links to them here so that this post ends up being the hub around which they are hovering. Your comments and input are as always not only welcome, but deeply appreciated.

I set out to communicate about communication. Considered blogging itself to be part of that was it natural that I explored blogs blogging about it thoroughly. Playing with the circularity of it all I began blogging about blogging as well. Learning by doing was the way I chose to learn the ropes. Linking to others who had touched similar subjects seemed both natural and logic to do. After all if the communication should be circular it had to reach out. At first nothing happened. Then people who I linked to started commenting here and recognizing me when I commented on their blogs. I mailed a few asking questions or seeking advice. Practically all of them responded. Although I am sure they get much more mail than the average person did they actually take the time to read and respond. Probably not least because they at least had an idea who it was from and what I was about.

When looking back the greatest pleasure of the beginning of my blogging journey have been how many people I have connected with in so relatively short time. It has not propelled me to world fame nor has it made my blog the center of the universe. Not to anyone but me at least. I have however noticed that the real thrill is when something you wrote in solitude gets company. Not only that it is being read, but that someone takes the time to comment on it, to link to it or even to write about it. That people know who you are because they have read you. That you have actually connected with someone through your writing. Since I actually started out writing to myself as many bloggers do when they first start blogging did it take some time before the ball got rolling. Staying true to what I wanted to achieve paid of though. Connections were made and if cared for they will continue to exist.

When reflecting about it I imagined a grid consisting of the elements mentioned. Since I cannot draw very well will you have to imagine it as well. On one axis is the classic relation between writer, text and reader. On the other is all your fellow bloggers with their own triangular relations. Their writing, themselves and their readers that is. However important these triangles are do each of them not signify much in the grand scheme of things. If we however apply a little circular thinking and imagine that writer, text and reader each are points on a circle it becomes much more interesting. Then the relation is not just dynamics in a straight line, but feeds itself. The writer writes a text, which is read by a reader. That in itself is bound to influence the writer when he writes again, but the dynamic can also be turned around, which reverses the roles. When the reader comments he turns writer just as the writer turns reader when reading it.

Expanding how we think about it from the one dimensional straight line to the two dimensional circle still doesn’t accurately depict my experiences though. Perhaps is the word Blogosphere not such a bad term for it after all. Taking this concept to heart we put on our 3D glasses realizing that those circles in fact form a sphere. In lack of a better image can you think of them as the longitude and latitude lines on a terrestrial globe. Instead of one or two dimensional connections between writer, text and reader do we now also have three dimensional connections between writers, readers and texts. It is no longer merely writer – text – reader or vice versa, but also writer – writer – writer, text – text – text and reader – reader – reader. Remember this is not individual people, but roles and the writers and readers typically the same who however when interacting act in different capacities.

Everyone who have made the slightest effort can attest to the connections between bloggers. You may be unaware of them at first, but you soon discover bands of connections. They may know each other through their work, through common projects, guest blogging, blog networks and not least through reading each others writing. That is also typically where the connections between readers come into existence. Readers do also connect when reading though. That may not be a direct connection, but it is certainly one that becomes obvious when they turn writers and comment on what they have read. As far as connections between texts is concerned is practically every text online worth reading connected to at least one other text. Not least so when it comes to blogs where linking out is not only regarded a duty when citing someone, but also a natural part of writing and posting in general.

As for the fourth dimension can I only attest to that there just isn’t enough time to do everything you would like to do. Exactly for that reason you should actually reserve enough of it to enjoy and be aware of what you are doing. In fact is looking back and thinking about what was not a bad use of the present. As long as it prepares you better for the future that is. Time is a strange thing. In some ways the time past have gone incredibly fast and in other ways does it seem like some things took forever. This was obviously not the case. However, you do see what was significant when looking back and that is where it pays off to pay attention. Whether it is remembering the successes with fondness or the bitterness of what went wrong I will try to take it with me as I look forward. There is so much more to do. So much to write and so much to read and so many other connections to make.

The web is neither the ideal environment for social interaction nor the harmonic utopia that some seem to see it as. It never will be. Just as in other aspects of life where people engage will there also be negative sides and seemingly negative sides. The latter being those that indeed can be very positive if handled appropriately. The following articles presents various concepts and will help you make the best of even the seemingly negative as well as dealing with the really negative. Since there is no way of escaping it you may as well learn how to deal with these things, optimize your own behavior and make the most of whatever happens.

How to Disagree and Persuade without Offending
This article is centered around how you get your point across without getting into a fight. The six strategies of persuasion presented and elaborated does a very good job of rounding off all aspects of engaging in conversations online. In fact I would claim that if just half the people participating in discussions online used them we would all be twice as clever as we currently are. Well worth thinking about and acting upon.

Communication Skills for Bloggers
Darren Rowse finds it a little ironic that bloggers often seem to be struggling with miscommunication. However is that perhaps simply because blogging is no different than many other things we do. We are well aware of what we should be doing, but something prevents us actually doing it. Defining the two key concepts (assertiveness and active listening) and the underlying aspects this articles does a great job of summing up what you should be doing as well as where it so often goes wrong.

10 Steps to Conflict Resolution
Using couple counseling as springboard Darren Rowse presents 10 steps of resolving conflicts related to blogging relationships. This is can be seen as the second piece of the puzzle with the article above being the first one. While actually seeing conflict as something that can be positive the list can serve as a guide to resolving those conflicts that hold you back rather than bring you forward. Don’t take it too literally, but think about how to apply it to the conflicts you encounter.

The Concept of Being Considerate to Others
Bes Zain broadens the concept of being considerate from being about being considerate of others to being considerate to others, which is much more direct and relevant when interacting with someone. Then it is not simply about being able to get along with people with different views, but to actually appreciate both them and their differing views. It can thus be seen as a plea not only to accept differences, but to embrace them. Since differences is what makes us unique is it well worth thinking about.

How Should You Criticize People On Your Blog?
That it is okay to give your opinion and criticize on your blog goes without saying. They key is how you do it. John Cass is convinced that it is best done through either positive or negative constructive criticism. Although offering advice this is mostly a post meant to be reflected on. Read it and make up your own mind. I did and I have and you should too as you may need to take a stand on this before you know it.

Tips for Dealing with Blogging Disagreements
Everyone who blogs for some time will experience that someone disagrees with them. Depending on how forcefully they make their points and where they publish it will you experience it as more or less stressful and upsetting. Either way do you have to deal with it. Even if it can also help you learn and make you wiser. Chris actually applies a structure that is not unlike mine when dealing with disagreeing comments, but since he presents and tackles it differently his tips also adds to it.

Dealing with Detractors: Responding to Negative Word of Mouth
The key to the success of your response is responding in the right manner. Andy Sernovitz lists the six steps he believes will help you when you are attacked publicly online. The premise is that you are actually in the right and that your reputation is on the line. Although written for companies it is sound advice and well worth taking note of. Not that you should assume that you or your company is ever attacked or unfairly criticized. However if you are, taking the right steps could prove vital.

Handling Negative Comments: Do You Have a Volunteer Fire Department?
Fear can be paralyzing and fear of negative comments is no different. Being a blogger does however also mean that you are not alone. The more of a conversational and relational blogger you are the less alone you are and the more people will be on your side if negativity indeed indeed should rear its ugly head. The best way to put your mind at ease is thus getting more involved on your own blog as well as on other blogs thus integrating yourself in the community.

We have to get along somehow and in fact most of us want to. Staying true to who we are, what we believe in and how we do things are equally important. That can lead to conflict. If we remember that we actually want to get along when we communicate does that make a world of difference. It is okay to disagree and to criticize. In fact it may be what is necessary for us to develop. How you do it is however not trivial. Being considerate and structured when criticizing or responding to criticism is essential. Actually being considerate means nothing more that considering that you neither are alone nor have patented the truth about everything. That others have something valuable to say and may not always be those doing things the wrong way. If there even is a wrong and a right way.

Sometimes people really are idiots and sometimes differences cannot be bridged, but you will get a lot further and learn a lot more if you don’t automatically assume that this is the case when someone disagrees with you or do things differently. Keeping this in mind and generally trying to be a good communicator when traveling the Blogosphere will in the time of need also decide who people side with if someone should try to discredit or directly attack you. It is thus a winning proposition all the way round when everyone try to be the best they can be when communicating.

Before reacting to new comments should you take the time to read them thoroughly. I usually check them once a day unless I happen to sit at the computer when they come in. Even if I could react right away do I not give in to the desire to do so. Not yet. Regardless of the comment is it never a good idea to react in an instant. Read each of them carefully and then turn your attention to something else. Your brain will continue to think about the comments in the background and either tells you when it is ready or it will at least be more ready when you decide it is time to start responding. Before you respond do you have to consider how to react though as not all comments require a response.

Broadly speaking can you react in one of three ways when getting a comment. I am leaving spam comments aside as that is another discussion and something I will rather leave to capable technology than deal with myself. When you see a genuine comment can you ignore it, respond to it or delete it. The tricky part is figuring out which comments require which reaction. My suggestion is to consider them neutral, positive or negative and handle them accordingly:

Neutral comments are those that neither add nor subtract. They are neither positive nor negative in this sense. They may very well contain positive elements, but none that moves anything or anyone. Typical examples would be comments like “me too”, “Great Article”, “idiot” or the like. What are you supposed to say to that? Then better say nothing and leave them be if they come from someone that you are comfortable linking back to or if they contain no link to a website.

Positive comments add something to the article or to the preceding comments. They can be taking the idea further, offer new angles, help complete an argument or add missing pieces. If they criticize is it constructively so that everyone stays in the conversation and can see where the flaw is or problem lies and how it could be improved upon or solved. Everything that brings us further teaches us something and even more so if we participate in the conversation by commenting ourselves.

Negative comments are negative as they only subtract. Basically are they just the opposite of the positive. They offer nothing new, but simply interrupt. Like the guy who always seemed to be around when you tried to learn something. The one who always had to put himself in the center even if he would have been better off shutting up and paying attention. Should he show up at your site are you bound to find out. Now is your chance to finally show him the door by simply deleting his comment.

Unfortunately is not every comment this easy to label. They are not all purely neutral, positive or negative, but can contain more elements. This is something you need to consider when dealing with them. After having dealt with the purely negative and the purely neutral comments (by deleting them and ignoring them respectively) is it thus time for another break. Great or small depending on your taste you should take the time to reflect before you reply.

Having sorted out the clearly neutral and negative do we have the three variations of positive comments left to deal with. Those that are positive through and through, those that are positive with neutral elements and those that are both positive and negative:

The purely positive are the easiest to deal with. You still have to come up with a good response, but that is really all you have to consider. Checking the 10 Tips That Will Make Anyone a Better Commenter will serve you well as that wasn’t just written for “other people” you know. Often are commenters bloggers and vice versa and you really should take the same care when commenting regardless of playing home or away. If everyone adheres to the same guidelines is the chance that much bigger that we all enjoy and profit from it.

Slightly different, but essentially the same are the positive comments with neutral elements. By this do I not mean that they say nothing and then say something, but that they don’t manage to get their point clearly across. You may end up having to guess what they mean or deal with arguments that seems to be contradicting themselves. This requires a little more finesse and diplomacy than the purely positive comment, but if you follow the guidelines just mentioned should you be fine.

Positive comments with negative aspects are typically comments that make a good point, but do so in an unacceptable manner. Although basically unacceptable these comments may deserve a second chance. Your options are to keep them in moderation and wait for a new response or to reply with the utmost consideration. If they try again let that decide how you react. If you choose to respond then pay special attention to staying on topic in order to keep everything personal out of it.

By structuring your reactions to comments on your blog do you stand a better chance of making the most of them. You should even be able to foster more positive comments that way as you clearly show that you don’t tolerate purely negative comments, don’t have the desire to reply to just anything and know how to deal with everything else. With time people will be able to see how commenting on your blog works and ease in. Even if they don’t you at least have the structure in place to deal with it.

While you should strive to attracting as many positive comments on your articles as possible should you not be lamed by the prospect of having to deal with negative comments. Some bloggers are very hesitant to delete comments, but provided you follow the steps above and really put in the time to reflect on how to label each comment is there really nothing to be hesitant about. Remember that just because we post something that everyone in the whole world can read doesn’t that automatically give everyone else the right to do the same. Not on my blog at least.

If everyone keeps his or her eyes on the ball and focus on what was written should everything be fine. Should someone not respect that is it really not that hard to deal with. Once the comment is submitted the commenter may still own the words, but he or she has nonetheless lost control as we have the provision to edit, delete or hide it as we see fit. However, since commenting in a way that everyone not only can live with, but indeed will benefit from really isn’t that hard is that certainly the route that I hope everyone commenting here choose to take.

To learn more about responding to comments and especially about how to deal with negative comments check out Lorelles articles: Mean Spirited Comments and Blogging and Comments on Comments as well as Blogging? You’re A Moron by Jason Kaneshiro and Bes Zain’s The Art Of Reacting To Criticizing Comments.

Since I thus far have been spared for not only negative comments, but also what I consider poor comments, do I want to take this opportunity to voice my opinion on what makes good comments and good commenters. When you have an opinion you may as well put it out in the open. Since I don’t want to write a formal policy on the matter did this seem like the best way to do it. Doing it now will hopefully spare me for getting into trouble when I eventually have to deal with both poor and negative comments as practically every blog must. I put a lot of work into my articles so the least you can do is to respect that when commenting on them. The same respect should be shown good commenters. Whether commenting here or commenting other blogs these are the basic principles that I try adhering to when I comment.

1. Have something to say.
Just adding a “ditto”, “good article”, or similar is just not okay. It brings nothing to build on nor does it make anyone any wiser. Some blogs are full of such comments, but “oddly” enough none of my favorites blogs. Don’t be unimaginative when you can be so much more.

2. Stay on Topic.
If you comment on a specific topic then stay with it. Wandering off in all sorts of directions doesn’t help anyone. Parallels or opposites are welcome though as they add to the topic without watering it down. Avoid dragging the person into the discussion unless what he or she wrote invites you to.

3. Add something new.
If someone already stated what you also wanted to say then find something else to say or find a new perspective on it. Simply repeating things doesn’t move neither the conversation or the people participating in it.

4. Go for clarity.
Don’t try to be clever by using irony, sarcasm or exaggerations if you aren’t able to make it clear what you are doing. Don’t expect anyone to understand you if you aren’t even trying. Be aware of negation, punctuation and smilies. Put them in the wrong place or forget them and you will lose everyone.

5. Don’t rant, be constructive.
Keep things short and to the point. Some arguments require longer comments and that is fine, but don’t overdo it. Then rather divide things up and add them to the conversation as it evolves. Thinking and writing constructively even when you criticize helps structure your response.

6. Link appropriately.
When you refer to someone else’s work you should link to it. When you refer to your own relevant work can you link to it. In all other cases should you not be linking. Links are like words meant to add something besides itself. Don’t pull people out the conversation for no good reason.

7. Don’t be arrogant.
You may know more about the subject than the other commenters or the blogger, but if you communicate it poorly does it not help anyone. You are more than welcome to set things straight or show how clever you are as long as you do it with respect for everyone else.

8. Show who you are.
Knowing who you are adds to what you write. We need not know personal details, but which blog you write on is helpful when determining the validity of what you write as well as the philosophy behind it. In fact should you consider your comments part of your personal branding.

9. Keep some things to yourself.
You are in a public place. You may want to consider sending an email instead of commenting if your comment is of a personal or private nature. That won’t add to the discussion, but at least it will save everyone from the embarrassment that could otherwise be the result.

10. Take the time.
Browsing the article and then quickly typing a comment could backfire. Did you actually read and understand it? Did you check the other comments? Did you think your comment through? Generally you can ask yourself how you would react to your comment and you will know if you can and should send it.

An important point when you comment is how you start your comment. Getting off to a good start will almost ensure that the rest of the comment follows the pointers above. For a great list of comment starters check out: Thinking about the teaching of writing, where you also find additional valuable points on how to write. Especially what the use of questions and writing for an audience is concerned. In 7 Great Ways to Connect with Other Bloggers While You’re Out Reading Blogs Liz Strauss makes the case for getting positive attention and starting new relationship with bloggers by observing how you interact with the blog and blogger. While a couple of the points overlap with my guidelines are there also some new ones you do well to respect also. On a slightly lighter note Lorelle wrote How NOT to Comment on Comments and although she states that it isn’t funny (the poor comments that is) the article itself is bound to get you laughing. At least I did while not forgetting the good points she makes.

If you comment as outlined above do you not only make the bloggers life easier, but that of everyone else involved as well. You enrich it even. Good comments helps motivate the blogger and the other commenters to do even better. They add to the conversation and make everyone smarter. They help build communicative bridges and expand communities regardless of what else sets us apart. It may be my obligation as a blogger to give you the best platform possible for your comments, but at the end of the day is it your decision and your responsibility how you make use of it.

There are a number of variations, but typically, the person who wants to organize (equivalent to the publisher of a magazine) a Blog Carnival posts details of the theme or topic to their blog, asking readers to submit relevant articles for inclusion in the next edition. The host (equivalent to the editor of a magazine), who may or may not be the same as the organizer, subsequently collects the submissions, edits and annotates them, and publishes them on his or her blog. While some carnivals are always hosted on the same blog and thus have this as center for it’s community (remember that community means having something in common – like the interest in the same topic or topics) other carnivals centers around an own website or principal organizer, who lines up guest hosts for each edition. This means that the carnival appears on a different blog each time, which on the one side helps expand the community, but on the other side means that the community will be more fragmented.

There is so much information on the Internet, that readers are having a hard time finding what interests them. If there is a Blog Carnival for a topic you are interested in, following that carnival offers a splendid opportunity to learn what bloggers are writing about it. If you are blogging on that topic, the carnival is a great place to share your work with like-minded bloggers and readers. Carnivals thus provides community and structure to the blogging experience by providing a nice aggregation of recent posts by the community on a given topic or theme. The host provides a level of editing and commentary that helps readers find posts they are interested in while earning the host a readership if he does a good job. Writers who submit their articles to blog carnivals are rewarded with traffic, recognition and community.

Blog Carnivals are a great way for bloggers to recognize each other’s efforts, organize quality blog articles around important topics and improve the overall level of communication among bloggers and their readers. It thus helps people find what they want, help show appreciation and raise the level of communication and community. Before you start contributing, organizing and/or hosting one should you read the following articles carefully. They will help you recognize that the more your put into it the bigger the benefits will be, that you have an obligation to assist preserving and heightening the quality of your community and that thinking ahead and building it into your overall strategy or purpose is what works the best. Furthermore will they help illustrate that there are more angles from which you can look at carnivals and more motives to participate. Note that the list isn’t ordered. You really should read (or at least browse) all the articles to get the complete picture or all angles of a particular aspect.

Five Questions (and Answers) About Blog Carnivals
“The best Carnivals are more than just a link-fest; rather, the really good ones get creative. The creator comments on the articles that have been submitted. They make it funny. Or they weave the entries together into a story. Or they really think outside the box and create something totally different.”

Link Building via Hosting Blog Carnivals
“Do you belong to a niche targeted group of bloggers? Is your business blog-friendly? Perhaps hosting your own Blog Carnival would be an easy and efficient link building tool for your market.”

How To Get Great Inbound Links and Connections Too
“Not all links are created equal. Some will be from junk sites, sblogs (spam blogs) or sites that have little to no relevance to your blog’s content. These links may still help with things like your Technorati rating, but generally speaking they won’t do much to increase traffic or awareness of your blog. The best links are those from high-trafficked, relevant sites. But don’t be too concerned about getting links from A-listers … what’s really important is the relevancy.”

On Blog Carnivals And Bonfires
“Nobody is entitled to have the entire world read his or her thoughts. But that’s what has become of the Carnival establishment, a sense of entitlement. The critics of a rating system for carnival posts assert that a rating system ruins the “vibe” of the Carnival. What is this supposed vibe, anyway? To hear these folks talk about it, the “vibe” is nothing but feigned equality and a warped form of free blogger love.”

How to Host a Blog Carnival
“The blog carnival must be one of the Blogosphere’s finest innovations. Akin to an anthology but far more dynamic, a carnival harnesses the self-publishing, self-promoting spirit of blogging. And because the cost of entry is so low (free, actually,) magnificent new carnivals are popping up almost as quickly as new blogs.”

Sour Duck’s Carnival Host Notes
“This is an informally written and entirely voluntary summary of my experience hosting Issue 3 of The Carnival of Feminists. These notes are written for the benefit of future and potential hosts, with a view to aiding them in their Carnival project. The notes are split into five sections: Part I: Introduction, Definition, and Disclaimer, Part II: Technical Notes, Part III: Meta-Issues, Part IV: Reference Links, Part V: Revisions”

Blog Carnivals And The Future Of Journalism
“Rounding the carnivals up every month, in addition to frequent hosting, sending entries and linking to new editions, gave me, I think, some insights into what makes a carnival and especially what makes a successful carnival. I’ll now attempt to systematize what I think I learned. I will repeatedly use analogies to hard-copy journalism and to physical spaces.”

Although mostly focused on the organizing and hosting of Blog Carnivals are the above articles also a great read for anyone considering participating as they also touch upon the logic and purpose of carnivals. Generally will some people be attracted to such events while others will shy away from them. It may come down to who you are and why you blog. Still, as you can see from some of the articles, even people who don’t necessarily agree with the philosophy of Blog Carnivals will recognize and realize the benefits they can reap from them. Before taking the jump from participating to hosting or organizing do your blog have to have an audience of a considerable size though. Otherwise you won’t be able to attract enough qualified contributions. Just as the content is the foundation for any successful blog are the contributions the basis for a successful carnival. Taking one step at a time, going from reader to participant before hosting and finally organizing may thus be the safest route to take. If done right could it very well be the most enjoyable and developing journey you take as a blogger.

Personally am I so taken in by the whole concept of Blog Carnivals and how well this conception fits my blogging philosophy that I certainly will be taking the plunge in the near future. As with most other things will I be looking to work out my own unique version of it before doing so though.

Before we start there is a couple of points I need to make. A traditional interview is a conversation between two or more people where questions are asked by one of them to obtain information from the other(s). However, this is a virtual interview, which means that the participants are separated both in time and space and only connected through their writing. In this context is the deciding difference however that the interviewer has to do all the present work including picking the topic, choosing the participants, formulating the questions and finding the answers. You could thus also call a virtual interview a particular form of reorganizing someone’s written words. I already hear someone yelling out that this ignores one of the most important aspects of interviewing someone, as it totally ignores the conversational aspect. Of course I would have loved to have an actual conversation both within the post itself and in the subsequent comments, but I have my reasons as I explain in more detail in the conclusion. As the lack of actual conversation has no negative consequences on what you can learn from this do I suggest we get on with it, shall we?

Why Do You See Relationships As Perhaps the Most Important Aspect of Blogging?

“At first glance, it seems writing is a solitary thing. In many ways, it’s true the writer’s task is individual. No one can help me write. I am left alone to sort my thoughts, to find the words, to set them to text with structure and expression. It’s a private search to articulate meaning. In another glance, it’s easy to see writing is socially dynamic. We record our lives. We announce our plans. We write sadness and sympathy. We spell out love and loneliness. We describe our achievements and failures in detail and drama. Most of all we talk to each other. We talk around the world without a sound. The longer I am a blogger, the more I discover how much we’re connected to each other by relationships. All of the words I write link me closer to the readers who read them. As we discuss our responses to each other’s thoughts in the comment box, we get linked more closely.” Liz [Connectors and Mavens on the Tipping Point]

“Over the years, I’ve been honored to meet a car mechanic who loved knitting and decided to share his passion for knitting through an online journal, allowing his passion to overcome the naysayers, which became a blog, then became his life. I’ve met artists who felt isolated and alone with their art, disconnected from the world, find friends and compatriots through their blogs. Others felt isolated by geographical location, stuck in towns and villages where they felt different and alone, unable to connect with those around them. Through their blogs, they not only found friends, but they found their voice and the strength to keep going, turning their thoughts around to embrace their community rather than run from it. In online friendships, race, culture, color, religion – none of it mattered as they found new mentors and supportive networks to help them find a place in the world through virtual relationships.” Lorelle [Are You Blogging Your Passion or Blogging to Blog?]

“The living web is built on relationships that grow through conversation. A certain magic happens when blog comments turn into conversation. When a blogging conversation happens, ideas, thoughts, and information gets passed from person to person. In the process, we find a human connection. They say “no blog is an island.” But a blog can be one, and blogging is not the same in isolation. The ideas, thoughts, and information that we share in blogging conversation make us stronger and expand us, as people, not just as bloggers.” Liz [The 4 Keys to Reader Comments and Conversation]

“When we blog, we are giving part of ourselves to others. We are sharing our thoughts, insights, concerns, issues, feelings, and our stories with others. For some, blogging means sharing ourselves with the hope of making the world a better place. For others, blogging means sharing their interests in the hope of attracting other like-minded folks. Blogging is a two-way street of communication. You share your insights, and your readers respond. Over time, you understand that their comments are as much part of the content of your blog as your contributions. Your readers give you insights into what you say, nudge and push you along with your thinking, they encourage you, motivate you, and inspire you to blog better and more. In time, you learn that what they have to say is just as important as what you say. In giving of yourself, you get so much back in return.” Lorelle [Building Blog Relationships: Reaching Out]

Can Links Be As Important when Facilitating Relationships As Content and Comments?

“A link in a blog post with a recommendation to visit will give your blog more credit than a link sitting in a blogroll doing nothing for you. Want a real relationship with another blogger? Write about them and link to their best work. Want another bloggers attention? Write about them and their good work and see what happens to your new relationship. It’s amazing what linking relationships will build. A trackback takes the relationship even farther. A trackback is a link from one post to another, alerting them that there’s a discussion going on about this blog post elsewhere. Trackbacks are the real letters of recommendation on the web. It’s a magical method of establishing relationships from one blog to another blog and another.” Lorelle [Linking Relationships]

“What is a link? Is a link clicks and traffic and Google rankings? Or does a link represent that I know you, that I’ve read your content, that you’re relevant and of value to me? Is a comment conversation or something I can buy or rent? We’re living in two Internets. It looks much like the companies we find in the world of brick and mortar. One is about places, information, and data. It’s the buildings in which people work. The other is about people, relationships, and conversation. It’s the people who work in those buildings. One is a structure. The other is social.” Liz [The Two Webs: Information or Relationships?]

“Link love is not dead, yet. As the Relationship 2.0 movement builds momentum link love will be redefined from just being a search engine optimization strategy to a relationship network of communication, collaboration, and confidence via relationships – which is the first step toward trust, the ‘real’ currency of doing business online. In the beginning the web was dominated by IT geeks. Increasingly, relationship geeks are blogging. This trend is simply reflecting real life. As more relationship geeks begin to leverage blogging technology the relationships they build online will create new momentum. The new metric will be the number of friends in your network not the number of incoming, one-way links.” Lorelle [Relationship Geeks Building a Relationship 2.0 Network]

What Role Does Relationships Play when All You Want to Do Is Doing Business?

“It’s not about how many ads you can litter your blog with. It’s not about how much money you can make with those ads. It’s not about how much traffic you can get, especially from one shot digg’s or Slashdots. Honestly, it’s about the relationships you build between you and your audience. Your ability to interact and knock down walls between you and your readers. It’s about the information you share with others, helping them learn more about their life and what they do with it, and finding the answers to their questions, or challenging them to give you the answers to your questions. It’s about communication.” Lorelle [Web Zero: Building Relationships With Your Blog]

“Bloggers are just beginning to figure out the depth and breadth of the medium in which we are playing and working. The brilliant idea of Permission Marketing : Turning Strangers Into Friends And Friends Into Customers so well defined and described by Seth Godin underscores the exact importance of relationships in every business and every life. When Seth talks about marketing, he often uses a metaphor of dating – also known as having a relationship. All business is relationships. Everything people [do] is relationships.” Liz [Connectors and Mavens on the Tipping Point]

“For those who want their blogs to be a vital part of their business, be it the business of blogging or using their blogs for reputation building, advertising, and corporate good will, it’s the relationships the blog forms that changes the dynamics, and can increase your profits. The “old thinking” of advertising was push and pull. Pushing advertising at the customer and pulling them in with “must buy” pressure. The new thinking of advertising goes back even further, to a time when the only reason you shopped at a particular grocery store or banked at the bank on the corner is because they knew your name, and the names of your children. You shopped for friendship, you shopped for loyalty, and you returned because of the trust. They knew who you were. In a world stuffed with nameless instant gratification, sometimes people want to know who they are buying from. They want a personal face on an impersonal world.” Lorelle [Building Blog Relationships: Reaching Out]

How Would You Suggest New Bloggers Get Started Building Relationships?

“In order to begin a relationship with a reader, you need to get them to your blog. One of the most powerful methods of attracting new readers is by publishing a popular post. A popular post is one that attracts attention and gets people talking about it because it: 1. Is well written and easy to read. 2. Incites thought. 3. Incites a response. 4. Has the information people are searching for at the moment. 5. Serves the needs of the many, not the few. A popular post is one that attracts a lot or consistent level of traffic which draws in new readers.” Lorelle [Building Relationships With Your Most Popular Posts]

“What new friends have you met lately? How have you made getting to know your blog easy for them? Here are three things you might do to get the ball rolling. 1. Find a new blog in your niche to follow. New blogs are new people with new points of view. Join their discussion by leaving meaningful comments and trackbacks. Every discussion offers an opportunity to learn something new from. 2. Check your sidebar. Make sure your sidebar is friendly to new arrivals who want to take a tour. Showing your readers where to find things is advertising. 3. Organize your archives as your readers would want them, and make a Popular Posts page. Ask your readers how they use your archives. Try to use them yourself to see how they actually work. Take the time to put your most popular articles in one place where new readers can find them as soon as they arrive at your blog. New friends who feel at home usually come back to visit again.” Liz [What New Friends Have You Met and How Have You Made Life Easy for Them?]

“The best lures are timeless articles which continue to fascinate and inform. They are well written and stand the test of time by fulfilling needs today, tomorrow, and a year from now. They answer the questions everyone wants to know. By providing these foundation needs consistently on your blog, you will build a loyal fan base of readers who keep coming back for more, and are eager to tell their friends about you. Provide content that matches the rest of your blog’s content and readers will stay. Attracting and maintaining readers is critical to your blog’s overall success. The relationship between your readers and your content is critical to building an audience. If you aren’t keeping them happy and not holding their attention, they will go elsewhere. In time, without the relationship formed with web traffic levels and comment interaction and feedback, your enthusiasm decreases. If this continues, your blog will slowly die because the relationships are dying.” Lorelle [Blog Relationships: Fishing With Lures and Bait]

“I’d like to offer some great ways to connect with other bloggers, ways that will get you positive attention and start relationships of mutual respect… Look before you speak. … Listen also. … Know you’re a visitor. … Don’t leave links without knowing or asking. … Come with the mind of a learner and you’ll be well rewarded. … Know that being clever or teasing folks in print is a talent, be sure to use a emoticon if you’re doing it. … If you leave a comment that argues a point or asks a question, do come back.” Liz [7 Great Ways to Connect with Other Bloggers While You're Out Reading Blogs]

Thank you Lorelle and Liz for your great insights, your passion and compassion and not least for sharing. I have certainly learned a lot from both of you and continue to learn something every time we communicate. I am sure everyone else do too. Perhaps we can do this again some time. Meanwhile do I encourage everyone reading this to check out the links above to learn even more and not least to reach out in whatever way you can to build more blogging relationships.

As regular readers have already noticed do I like playing with both content and form. The same is true here. I could just have made another link post, but wanted to combine that concept with an idea I have about interviews and what you can do with them. There are thus three main reasons why this ended up being what I refer to as a virtual interview. Time and space are perhaps the most important constraints when interviewing someone. Even if you can bridge space using the Internet will it never be the same as actual presence. However, is time perhaps the greatest obstacle. Not only do you have to be present, at least approximately, at the same time. Everyone also have to find the time to do it. The third reason is that the concept as I thought more about it appealed to me. Although it surely cannot take the place of real interviews and never can be as precise, current or vivid does it also have its advantages. The obvious one is that you can make it regardless of said constraints, but you also have more to work with and greater influence on what the result looks like. This greater freedom comes at the price of far bigger responsibility for doing everyone justice, but if your intentions are honorable and you do everything with care the result can be just as good as if you actually had conducted a proper interview, only different.

Speaking about well worth reading is the following my picks from the submitted articles. They are ordered according to my appreciation, but I highly recommend that you read all of them. I am sure I could have added more if I had expanded the focus, but I must admit to being picky both what the quality and the subject is concerned. There are just some subjects, which I am not drawn to regardless of how well the articles may be written. Hence are the articles that I picked similar to those that I feature my regular link posts.

L’Amour De Blog: 3 reasons why blogging is like being in love
“You unfortunate masses who’ve never experienced a deep, meaningful relationship with a blog have missed out on an achingly poignant truth: blogging is a lot like being in love. In fact, for thousands of dateless programming junkies across the globe (don’t look at me!), the blogosphere is the closest they’ve ever actually gotten to going steady.”

Three essential steps to great blog posts
“You’ve heard the mantra: content is king. If there’s one thing you must do to have a profitable, high-traffic blog, it’s provide excellent content. How do you ensure that you’re doing that?”

3 Surefire Ways to Advertise Your Blog on a Shoe String
“One of the greatest lies told in the blogosphere is “write better content to get more readers and more traffic.” Great content without promotion will always fail to reach wide audience. Some form of promotion is always necessarily, usually by getting links from a more popular site, or by having a reader base that promotes your content for you.”

3 Must Do Things For A New Blogger
“Few people have a misconception that they can earn good amount of money from first month. And we know this is one of the main reasons why most blogger’s fail. Though I’m not a Pro blogger or even an intermediate blogger, I can still give a few tips for the new bloggers.”

How To Sell Your Blog in 3 Easy Steps
“Selling a blog may seem a daunting task, but it doesn’t need to be so difficult or stressing. Perhaps what you need is the right system to assist you in selling your blog.”

Finally would I like to congratulate Daniel for coming up with a way to decide this competition that I have never seen before. What you see above are my votes in the competition. Everyone participating are to vote this way and when the deadline have passed all votes are counted and the posts that have received the most votes win. That way the participants themselves decide who wins in contrast to most blog competitions where the hosting blog choose the winner. I am sure this is at least the same amount of work for the hosting site, but it seems so much more fair and rewarding than simply having a winner drawn randomly or picked by one or two people. Unless they are real authorities on the subject of course. I am still not sure if it will actually work as intended, but we will learn that soon enough. If one or more of those I have linked to above wins (this project have three equal winners) then I will consider it a success. Otherwise is there something which need to be changed for me to use it at least.

UPDATE: Now that the results are in am I not entirely sure what to think about this method. On the one hand I actually managed to predict the overall winner by picking it as number one here and had another of my five picks finishing just outside the top three. On the other hand am I not convinced by the quality of the other winners. I guess deciding who’s sense of quality to rely on is one thing you need to do before picking how to decide a winner, while another is if you will be happy with the result regardless who picks. It thus comes down to whether you rather want to be happy with who won or how they were picked. You will never be able to please everyone either way so you may as well go the route that you are most comfortable with I guess.

As to what I think about the choice between blogs with and without comments do you have to look no further than my article about why blogging can be and should be about more than mere publishing: Why You Should Blog With Community in Mind and How to do it. I do not take sides. There is no point in taking sides as that only divides. What does make sense is contemplating what you think is best and what you enjoy the most. I practically only read blogs with comments. Not only because I want my say, but because I thoroughly enjoy reading what others think as well. Even if the blogger is an authority on the subject and have put everything he or she can into communicating it is there almost always someone who can add to it in some way or another. That you would be missing on a blog without comments and I do simply not see why you should.

10 Reasons Commenting is Good For Bloggers
“Blogging is not just about saying your piece, it is also about going out and joining the conversation where it is happening. It’s about reaching out to people and exposing yourself (steady!) to new ideas. Some giving as well as all this taking back we focus on.” Chris makes a good point when stating that commenting is a great way of giving something back. Unfortunately do not many of the more prominent bloggers think that way. In fact it is mostly those who already had this philosophy when starting out who are doing so. Regardless of your status and experience should you try to meet the challenge that he poses: posting more comments each day for a week. Even if you fail am I sure you will have a great time doing so.

New Bloggers: An Idea To Get The Conversation Started
“…what do we want from our blogs? If we want comments we probably want conversation. And if we want conversation, we likely want to create relationships. And through relationships, there’s even the chance we could create community.” Dawud Miracle and I seem to think alike about a number of things and this is one of them. Try not seeing comments as the goal, but as the start of a journey. In this post, which in itself is a link post with more possible journeys built in, he seems to add a dimension to Chris’ challenge (see above) as he asks every commenter to return the favor. As you can imagine am I just thrilled when seeing someone else embracing circular communication and actually seeking to practice it.

Business Blog Design: Comments
“Being able to open up a dialogue between author and readers by leaving comments is one of the key aspects of a blog and one of the elements that make them as effective as they are. They open a door onto the interactive side of the web and give the opportunity to engage with people, start conversations and create connections.” I could not have said it better myself. Which isn’t the same as saying you cannot blog without comments mind you. Underlined is however also that not allowing comments sends the signal that you or your business are unapproachable, which is rarely seen as something positive. The tips how encourage comments and to deal with them when they start coming (including comment spam) is well worth checking out.

Got Comments? How to Get More Interaction on Your Blog
“… a company that blogs should be doing everything possible to encourage its readers to leave comments. The more input from its readers, the more valuable feedback the company can collect.” Mark Collier suggests six things that you can do to maximize the number of valuable comments on your blog. He does argue from a company point of view, but the tips can be used by any blog. I particularly like his fifth tip, which I haven’t seen anywhere else, where he suggests seeing someone commenting via a post on their own blog as something which can be integrated into your own post and thus help couple the two conversations. The other points are all valid and insightful as well.

Why You Comment on Blogs
“On most websites or blogs, the ratio of readers to commenters is gigantic. On this blog, a post that garners 40 or 50 comments is considered quite a bit, even though there are many thousands of readers. The stream of comments can take many shapes, depending on the nature of the post. And, once again depending on the nature of the post, the commenters here can seem like a fairly diverse lot. But lately I got to thinking: what kind of person comments on a blog, and why?” Having asked that and used the comments to find the answers is this the post presenting them. First of all do I like the circularity about it. Asking the readers to comment on why they comment just has something about it don’t you think? There is more to it than that, but it really seems that the obstacles sometimes are higher than the desire to comment and that you therefore really have to do everything you possibly can to encourage conversation for it to actually happen.

Blogs are sometimes criticized for being poor community platform, but truth is that they are what you make of them. The same goes for comments. As a famous Chinese proverb states does every journey start with a single step. Consider every comment you make such a step and you will be going places. As you can see is there more to the question about comments than merely if they add value to the articles, which you can only applaud regardless whether you are the writer or the reader. If you are a blogger is a blog with comments an entirely different experience than one without any. You get feedback, get to know new people and expand your reach. You get to play host for conversations or even builder of a community. As a reader do you get to have your say, get to know new people and expand your universe. You get to converse or even become part of a community. For those of us who are both writers and readers does the benefits multiply and not simply double because each of the factors reinforce each other. Last, but not least, would I like to mention Maki’s tip on How to Use Blog Comments as a Personal or Blog Branding Strategy where he helps you decide if you should focus on yourself or your blog, how to brand consistently and how you start actively engaging others through interactive commenting.

PS: Within the last couple of days have seen a heated debate on a number of the blogs that I read about a new service offering to make comments on your behalf in exchange for money. Perhaps I should be just as outraged and infuriated about this as the bloggers whom I admire, but I am not. It is not that I don’t care or that I not against it, but simply that I firstly don’t want to help promote the service (which will prove itself to be a disservice with time) and secondly believe that it is not worth debating something, which you can’t do anything about anyway. Those who came up with the idea service providing paid comments as well as everyone who would even consider using it are in my opinion outside pedagogical reach. We would therefore only be discussing this within the community of people who agree on disagreeing with it (which the ongoing discussion already proves) and regardless of how passionately we do that it wont change a thing. Since it goes against anything positive you can say about comments and commenting do I hence, this time, choose to remain silent.

You probably know the fairy tale about “The Three Little Pigs”. Even if you do let me recap it for you as I chose to focus on the kindest of the many versions. The one where the two less prudent pigs escape to the house of the third pig while the wolf escapes rather than being eaten. Basically it is about 3 pig siblings who are old enough to move out and build their own houses. The first little pig built his house out of straw because it was the easiest thing to do. The second little pig built his house out of sticks, while the third little pig built his house out of bricks. One night the big bad wolf, who dearly loved to eat fat little piggies, came along and saw the first little pig in his house of straw. He blows the house in only to find that the first pig escaped to the second pigs house. Hence the wolf follows him there, threatens to blow the house in and as the pigs don’t let him in he indeed does. The two first pigs now seek refuge by the third pig that built his house of bricks. As the wolf arrives he again makes his threats. He blows and blows, but to no avail. The brick house still stands. Finally, he attempts to enter the house through the chimney, but the third pig takes off the lid of a boiling pot of water placed in the fireplace, and the Wolf falls right into it. Howling in pain, the wolf runs away never to be seen again. In the Disney movie from 1933 this is the part where all three pigs together sing: “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?”

As you have probably noticed do all classic fairy tales have a morale. You should walk away with something having read it. Usually it is something seemingly trivial and obvious, but since most fairy tales are also entertaining and leave a lot of room for interpretation does it still work. Here is the idea however not only to let the fairy tale make it’s point, but also to expand on it and make it relevant for anyone blogging. So what can we learn from the tale of “The Three Little Pigs”? Apart from the morale of the story, which basically is that the way to get along in the world is to do everything you do as well as you can, I believe there are three basic truths about blogging successfully, which can be extracted:

1. A strong foundation in the right location is essential when building.
Had the third pig not chosen the right location and laid the right foundation the rest of the house would not have held out the wolf for long. Related to blogging a strong foundation is your thoughts, beliefs, knowledge and skills, while the location is what you chose to write about. You need to think about what you know and what you don’t. About what you can and what you can’t and about what you believe in and what you don’t. You have to find your passion to define your purpose. You need to have something on your mind as well as something at heart. If you cannot do everything yourself don’t hesitate asking for help, but do think everything through first.

2. A structure is only as strong as it’s elements.
The main difference between the pigs was their choice of building material. While it may be more convenient and quicker to opt for something lighter and easier to build with as bricks and cement you read what happened. Hence don’t. Not when you are blogging either. You may not end up having to flee or risk getting eaten, but you will certainly not have a great time, as you otherwise will either. Consider your content to be virtual bricks while interaction; conversation and community will serve you well acting as cement. So take the time and put in the effort putting up original and timeless content. Even if you tire try to keep going. Involve and appreciate your readers. Ask questions and give answers. Be creative if you like, but don’t use creativity to cut corners.

3. A closed construction is of little use to anyone.
You need an entrance that welcomes those you like and keep out those you don’t. Without one the other two pigs would have suffered a terrible fate because they couldn’t get in or the wolf would have gotten in because it would not have kept it out. Either way it would not have ended in bliss. When it comes to blogging you have to consider every page a point of entry, as you never know where people enter. The software and design have to work both for you and your readers. You should consider all plugins that will make it a more pleasurable experience visiting while installing all measures to keep trolls, spammers and scrapers out. Reach out, be helpful, open and responsive and use a tone of voice fitting to your subject and your audience.

The question is why all three pigs didn’t approach building their house this way. Most interpretations put it down to the third pig being older, wiser and more experienced, which to me is just another way of saying that his traits and skills can be developed and honed by practically anyone with the desire to do so. I am sure the third pig wasn’t acting as he did by chance. He obviously educated himself and thought things through before he started. Knowing the day would eventually come where he would have to accomplish something he prepared for it. As he started building did he not let himself get distracted, but understood that to accomplish something you need to separate work and play, which however shouldn’t prevent you from having pleasure working or taking pleasure in what you accomplish. Having finished his house and enjoying the joy of having built his own home could he have settled for that, but as the others come to him for refuge he forgave and welcomed them. Not only because they were his brothers, but also because a life in solitude is undesirable. In defeating the Wolf and scaring it away his ingenious yet simple solution is an excellent example of how imagination can come to your aid. That he hasn’t forgotten that there is more to life than working shows as he at the end is enjoying himself with the others. Knowing that his passionate dedication and persistence not only saved the day, but indeed their lives he is surely enjoying himself even more.

Finally let us look at the cast of characters. You are of course the third of the little pigs. At least I hope you are because there are plenty of bloggers playing the roles of the first two pigs already. The mother could be the blogger or someone else who inspired you to start blogging. She could also represent the event or desire that made you decide to start blogging. Everything in life has a trigger and here is the mother representative of that. As far as who or what the wolf represent do I see more possibilities. The obvious answer would be that it is the blogging competition or the isolation that creeps in on every blog that isn’t built like the third pigs house. He could thus also represent any of the literally hundreds of mistakes that you can make, which will prevent your blog from succeeding. Mistakes are however only deadly if you don’t learn from them. Therefore I prefer this version of the tale. It doesn’t predict anyone’s demise, but rather gives everyone hope. Even if you don’t get off to the best of starts at least you can still learn from your mistakes. Thus making your virtual escape by realizing that to enjoy blogging you need to approach it like the third pig approached building his house.

If you want more or simply came here expecting something else check out the entire gruesome story, the lyrics for “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?”, “The Three Little Pigs” interpreted as a story about the pleasure principle versus reality principle and the fairy tales background information. This post is an entry in Daily Blog Tips’ Three Blog Project. Hence the choice of this particular fairy tale. I look forward to reading all the other entries and getting to know some new blogs and people on my journey through them.